Crappy pinball machines top 5

We all love pinball and there have been some great pinball machines made. But unfortunately, the last decade there have also been a lot of crappy games released. Literally.

5. Family Guy

Sterns Family Guy isn't a bad pinball machine at all.. it's even created by the top pinball designer Pat Lawlor, who made the most popular games like Twilight Zone and The Addams Family.
Family Guy however isn't the next Addams, and because of some game elements and its humor it gets fifth place in this list.

Lard multiball ? Fart multiball ? The wizard mode, the final goal of the game, is Sperm Attack ? I need a shower..

Family Guy pinball

4. South Park

It has a real toilet on the playfield and mr Hankey is drawn prominently at the center of the playfield. How shitty can you get ?

As a pinball machine, South Park isn't a lot of fun. The game is aimed at beginners, most shots are easy to make (even with a blindfold on). Pinball enthousiasts were not impressed by this title. But because of the theme the associated humor the game earned very well and was one of the most popular machines at the end of the nineties.

You won't find it in a lot of pinball collections, but it's great if you need mindless pinball fun.

South Park pinball

3. Junk Yard

You're stuck in a junk yard. Collect pieces of garbage to assemble machines and go into space. Enter the sewer to start modes.
Did Williams really expect to make an excellent game with these elements ?

Seems they did think it would be a success, but pinball players decided otherwise. Of all games Williams made at the second half of the nineties, Junk Yard is one that gets least appreciation by pinball collectors..

At the back left of the playfield there's a real toilet to shoot at, and at the center right is a sewer entrance.

Junk Yard pinball

2. Austin Powers

The Austin Powers pinball machine is proof that you can't just throw some elements together of popular pinball machine to create a successful machine. Put a toilet bowl on it, Sega last game (South Park) had it and sold well ! Use the 'fan' playfield layout (for non-pinball people: this is a playfield layout with 2 flippers at the bottom and all shots to be made are at the top half of the playfield next to each other, like on Medieval Madness, Monster Bash, Lord of the Rings, ..)

Despite looking good on paper, the game is boring and just no fun to play at all.

Austin Powers pinball

1. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

I really hate this game. I am quite forgiving for bad pinball games, I even put money into a Waterworld on location and played a few games on it. But Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is the only pinball machine that I even didn't finish my first game on. It's not bad, it's plain evil. This is not a pinball but a torture machine.

The playfield looks bad. The whole colorscheme looks like someone puked over it. Sound samples and music have a questionable quality. It's no fun to play and I pity any children who were introduced to pinball machines playing this object.. no wonder pinball lost a lot of its popularity, one game on this is enough to run away from pinballs for the rest of your life. TMNT is a pinball machine that shouldn't been let out of the sewer.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pinball

0. Who Dunnit

Update: I forgot another game with a sewer on its playfield ! This pinball machine is Who Dunnit. Not the best game ever made but not a real stinker either.. it just lacks a wizard mode and some variance in its gameplay, therefor it is not so popular among experienced pinball players. At the right of the playfield there's also a sewer (similar setup to Junk Yard).

Who Dunnit pinball